I have gained friends and lost friends over the course of 22 years. And I know I will gain and lose friends over the next 22. That is just life. We grow apart, we make life changes that don’t involve some people, and we sometimes just stop liking people and that is OKAY. I am not a perfect friend, fiancé, daughter, sister, cousin, etc. I will admit that. But I have never stopped trying to improve.
I am the type of person who gives and believes in second chances. I believe people make mistakes and I also believe that if God is willing to grant us forgiveness then shouldn’t we forgive others? There just not much someone could do to me that I can’t eventually forgive and move on from. But sometimes forgiveness and second chances doesn’t always mean that these people need to stay in your life long-term necessarily. That’s what I want to talk about in this blog post because it has been on my mind so much lately.
Someone who only is around for the good times in life is not someone you want to keep around long-term. Life isn’t always peachy and life will not be perfect. Whoever this person is in your life that literally disappears when you just need to vent or you are having a rough patch.. maybe they aren’t needed in this season of your life. They may not be able to show sympathy because they have never been shown sympathy from others. Or they may just not care. That is something you may never know and that is okay. It is better to not waste energy on someone who doesn’t put energy into your friendship, relationship, etc. Yes, you can tell them how you feel, but if they don’t make a change or even try.. maybe it is time to lean on someone else for support if that is what you need.
A friend, S/O, or even family member who constantly doesn’t support you even with something you really believe in probably doesn’t deserve to be in your life. I don’t mean supporting financially. I mean supporting your dreams, beliefs, and goals. It is so okay to disagree, but if someone truly loves and respects you and that dream belief or goal isn’t life threatening, they should want to support and love you. Because that is what close friends, significant others, and family members are for. Whether you agree with what they do, the decisions they make in life, or whatever else it may be you always support the people you care about in my opinion.
I have been a friend who only hangs out or talks to someone when it’s convenient for me. Reflecting on that friendship I feel terrible about that now. But that person didn’t need me in their life long-term because I wasn’t the friend they needed at times and I realize that now. I wasn’t a good friend and they didn’t need me in her life considering she had other friends that were more present in her life. Moving forward, I have made changes to try to be more present in my friends life. I was one of the friends that wasn’t needed anymore. And that is okay because other people will change and you may be the friend they cut out of their life. You have to respect that and move on if they have made it clear that they don’t want you in your life.
Lastly, I don’t think you need someone who is constantly draining. If they are always complaining and they never have anything positive to say, you will eventually start to become like that. And who wants to be depressed or negative all of the time? Life is too short to always see the glass half empty. You can find good in most things and I truly believe that. I am not saying it’s easy to find a positive side. You definitely have to want that, but some people don’t look at life like that. I am not saying that is wrong, but I don’t want to live my life always complaining. You have to make a conscious effort to think positive and if someone in your life can’t support that and they are still always negative.. it is time to move on from that person no matter who it is.
I think the list could be longer but these are the few kinds of people that you don’t need in your life. I believe it is okay to miss that friendship, relationship, or whatever it may be.. but I do think it is important to evaluate and remember why you don’t need them in your life. I know this was a different kind of post than I usually make, but I think it needed to be posted. Thanks everyone for reading. Hope you have a great week.
(P.S. This look will be on the Blog Friday!)